Monthly Archives: March 2016

Hey Buddy…


A greyhound went into a bar

and the barman said,

“Hey Buddy, why the long face”?


Accidents happen!

Easter Sunday and I have almost got the bedroom finished. I just have to run an extension cord from the power point to the electrical stuff and get rid of the cord that is plugged into the bathroom and runs down the hall and across the floor.

Rassi is doing very well with all the moving. Eventually he just went and climbed on the chair and settled down, of course that was after I yelled at him. He had started this annoying thing of walking in front of me and stopping, blocking the way, so I yelled at him to get out the way.

Later I had my “mishap”. For many years I have been cutting my own hair. I fit a No. 2 comb to some clippers and just run it all over…easy. The benefit is, a cheap pair of clippers will last a couple of years, and costs less than the price of 1 haircut, so I come out in front.

Today I was in a hurry and using some brilliant new clippers. When I got them I found out that an Australian No. 2 comb cuts shorter than an international No. 2 comb. Today I used them again, I took my glasses off (I only wear them for seeing), so I could do around my ears, and leaning over the sink (to catch the hair), started trimming. Even without my glasses I could see the hair falling into the sink and thought “That seems like a lot of hair for a trim“. It was probably at that moment I realised I had taken the comb OFF to clean the clippers last time…Yes, you guessed, I forgot to put it on again. I wouldn’t say I was now bald, but there isn’t much between what hair I have and bald.

When I finished scalping myself I started to move some furniture, only to be met at every move by a prancing greyhound. It was 6.30pm and he had not had his frozen chicken, so he was there to let me know. Again, I asked him “What? Do you want chicken”, and got the answer “Woof”, (greyhound for YES).

So I will go and put the extension cord around the room, and with a happy greyhound, and having found the hat I want, will retire to watch some Scrapheap Challenge, and go to bed.

Some day off!

Today was Easter Friday public holiday. Oh was it?? I was up early and continued rearranging furniture in the house. I am working on the bedroom at the moment. I have pushed the bed to one side of the room and put the TV and DVD on the other side of the room. I am going to put a lounge chair in there as well, and just “live” in the one room, trying to keep the lounge tidy. I don’t need a TV set in there I have my BIG projector, the one with the 10foot wide picture (bigger than life size) Kia used to want to take on the dinosaurs in Jurassic Park, Rassilon…couldn’t care less.

Of course moving the bed involved moving the bedside cabinet and filing cabinet I had a projector on. But moving that to where I wanted it, against the wall with the bed in front, meant that the picture from the projector was too big to fit on the screen I have, but for a collector that is not a problem. I just used a different projector that throws a smaller picture, but it is perfect for where it is.

I used some double sided tape to hold a little support for the projector, but that didn’t hold so I had to bolt it down. It is connected to a big stereo speaker box, and all is fine. Of course the house is a complete mess.

Last night as we were relaxing in bed I noticed that one of Rassilons claws was getting quite a point on it, so today I got his nail clippers, called him up on the bed and asked him for his paw, which he gave me. I trimmed the offending nail, and away he went. Completely the opposite, my mothers Chihuahua/Fox terrier cross will NOT sit still to let you do her nails. We usually end up wrapping her in a towel to stop her moving around as much.

But despite the mess of the house, it is a holiday and  didn’t go to work (have I mentioned I HATE my job), so this afternoon I took Rassilon for a nice long walk, well, until my knees started to get sore.

Rassilon had a wonderful time sniffing around, stopping a couple of times to do some watering, and he walks so beautifully, it is like I am just carrying a leash.

This afternoon in the midst of my climbing over the bed to bolt the projector down, I was looking for Rassi because he couldn’t sleep on the bed. I thought he had gone outside to his sandbox, but no, he had climbed up on his (sorry MY) chair and was resting comfortably.

So now he is fed (cheesecake wouldn’t have been on his kennel diet), walked and patted, he has gone to bed, but I am going to have to shift him so I can make it properly.;


This is the Rassilon “Ï hear a noise” look.

When I got Rassilon, according to the colour chart he was fawn / brindle, but looking at this picture he is grey, almost white brindle, just a hint of the fawn under his ears.


Did you know that if all the McDonald’s workers around the world stood hand in hand,

you would have to get your own hamburger.

What happened?

Yesterday I fell asleep at work…twice. Fortunately only for a couple of seconds, and no one saw me.

I had to go and do a bit of shopping on the way home, so when I got home I had some tea and went to bed by 8.00pm, and apart from the usual relief stops during the night, I didn’t wake up till almost 7.00am.

I got up and had some breakfast, then thought of some things I still needed, so I went to the new Aldi at Colonnades (nothing fancy, I prefer the Woodcroft store), but I took Rassilon with me, so we could go for a walk after I did the shopping.

I took him right around the outside of the shopping centre and we met some people who wanted to pat and admire Rassilon, who was wearing a matching ensemble of personalised orange summer coat, 2 inch dalek collar and an orange leash. Very eye-catching, and the orange seems to make his brindle colouring stand out more.

So after a nice long walk, meeting and greeting, we came home. I had some lunch and Rassi heard the cheese slices screaming, because, even before they were unwrapped, he was at the kitchen door waiting! I have learned by now, I am going to have 4 cheese slices, take 6 out of the fridge.

So Rassi had a couple of chicken drumsticks (raw) while I prepared tea, then it was time to relax. Of course I had to find a different chair to relax in.


Now it is time for “nanna nap” for me too. 1.30pm and I am worn out. The long walk didn’t do my legs any favours!!

Definitely time to loose some weight, My legs might not be so sore if I was carrying ** less kilos (oh dear, the number didn’t turn out).



Statistics show that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren’t happy,


that dwarfs and midgets have little in common


Going through the change

It’s almost lovely. The heat has gone today and it’s only 17 degrees outside (20 in the office). Unfortunately it is humid, so, a jumper worn while walking to keep warm, is too much when not outside and walking.

The up side of this is that I got up early and took Rassi for a walk. He was OK, but the wind made him a bit cautious, but he walked beautifully, even though it was only a short walk. It was going to be a longer walk, but the cool has come so quickly that it made my knees sore, but rather than not go out, I decided that a short walk would be better than nothing.

The forecast for today…storms and rain. Of course yesterdays afternoon storm consisted of 1 clap of thunder and 1 flash of lightning, but the second lot of rain cooled things down. The first downpour was dry in about 20 minutes, because everything was so hot after the 38 degrees.

But today Rassilon is happy and playing, he’s been for a walk (wearing a coat to protect him from the sudden change),and had his breakfast, 2 chicken drumsticks. I will feed him when I get home (no accidents while I am out).

To help Rassilon, I am putting him on a diet. He needs to loose a kilo or 2, but not much. On the other hand, I am also going on a diet of sorts. I looked at a height / weight chart and apparently I am supposed to be 7 foot 8 inches tall. (I always said I am not overweight, I am under tall).

Rassi spent the night on the bed again last night. It is a good thing I am not strict about which side of the bed I sleep on, because he changes sides all the time. But when I woke up at 5.00am and asked if he wanted to go for a walk, him leaping of the bed and tap dancing by the door made me think he did.

So, big Dalek collar and personalised red fleece coat, and off we went, and Rassilon was so pleased, he was sniffing and checking things out, and because there was no panting, I knew I had made a good choice of putting his coat on. If I had not, he would probably been too cold.


Stuck at home

For the past 2 days I have had terrible nights sleep, waking up several times during the night. (Of course paws and claws in the ribs doesn’t help a lot). Eventually waking up with the alarm clock.

The late wake means Rassilon can’t go for a walk in the morning, and the weather isn’t fit to take him out when I get home.

Mind you, at the moment poor Rassilon is laying in the bed panting madly.


hanging 5 on the bed

The weather forecast was for afternoon rain…at last. Of course, that forecast was from the weather bureau. How do afternoon showers look to the weather bureau?


forecast rain

Lovely blue skies, and a few distant clouds.


And just how cold did it get? Well the temperature did drop while I was getting the camera.

forecast wrong

a bit blurred, I prefer to think of it as heat haze.


I guess everyone is sick of hearing about our weather, well try living in it!! 5 months of minimum 32 Celsius days (we did have a week when it was under the 32, but still no less than 28. When you hear that there is some rain and cool weather you get excited, but then you get this and you get somewhat annoyed!!

Because of the heat poor Rassilon can’t go out for a walk in the afternoon, but generally he goes out to the garden when I get home, has a pee and comes inside again. He will go out to eat his chicken, but is straight back inside.



Today we had 2 guys in the emergency department with severe burns. One had 2 burned feet. The doctor asked him how he did it, he said he was cooking his tea. The doctor asked how he could burn his feet while cooking his tea, the guy said the instructions on the can said pierce lid and stand in boiling water for 15 minutes.

The next guy had 2 burned ears. He was asked how he did it and said he was doing some ironing when the phone rang. He answered the phone but put the wrong hand to his ear. The doctor accepted that, but asked how he burned the other ear, and he said, well, I had to call an ambulance!!

Money can’t buy cool weather.

The bureau of meteorology. Millions of dollars of computers, satellites and university degrees, and they still can’t even guess what the weather is going to do.

The weather forecast at the start of the week was for thunder storms, rain and possible flash flooding. In actuality the weather has been at least 32 degrees EVERY DAY. We did have some rain on Wednesday night, but I let Rassi out for a pee during it, and when he came in I still let him up on the bed without having to dry him off.

The forecast has now changed to ‘possible rain’, which translated into ordinary person speak is “Well, it may or may not rain”.

Unfortunately Rassilon DOES NOT like the heat at all. In fact, after this 5 month heat wave, I am planning on buying an air conditioner. If I change the rooms around I could get 2 portable air con units and have one in the bedroom and make the spare room a TV room and have the other in there, and I can still leave the evaporative coolers on during the day for Rassilon. (I rent my house, so if I put in a wall mounted unit, if I leave I either leave the air con, or get the wall repaired).

I went out to open the gates for a friend to come and mow my back yard, and I thought I’m glad it’s going to be him out there and not me. The temperature at 9.02am…

morning 9am

On the bright side of things, I got a photo of Rassilon, but it shows his big loooong nose. He really looks like a greyhound in it.

big nose

Rassi should be happy when the grass is cut, he will be able to see the complete garden. At the moment the grass is getting long and hard to navigate through. Lucky he’s a greyhound and not a Dachshund (and Yes, I have had one of them).


A man went into a bar and ordered 2 double whiskeys, a double rum and a martini. He drank them all and started to cry. The barman asked what was wrong, the man said “I shouldn’t have drunk those with what I have” The barman said “Why? What have you got”? The man said “Two dollars and forty three cents”.